2 Tips about Healthy Relationship

Relationship Tip #1

Laugh more, Love more.

Recently my husband made me watch a facebook video of a Wai’anae couple. It went viral among our networks. A wife video taped herself playing a trick on her husband. She said, “Honey, how do you spell yes?” He said, “Y-E-S.” She asked twice, then questioned, “ Well, what is E-Y-E-S? He said “E, yes.” She asked him the same question a few more times. He said the same thing every time. She was cracking up inside herself.  I laughed hysterically having watched her video three times. The first time I watched, I did the same thing her husband did. It took me as long as he to realize E-Y-E-S  spelled eyes!

That video got me thinking.  When  was the last time I played a trick on my husband? When was the last time he played a trick on me?  When was the last time we laughed like that? I realized it had been a while.

That video was a reminder to laugh, and to NOT  take things so seriously as I often do.

According to an ar tic le entitled ‘S tress Relief from Laughter, It ’s no Joke,’ (Mayo Clinic) Laughter won’t cure cancer but laughter has positive, short and long term effects on the body. Laughter can increase oxygen intake, stimulate vital organs, improve one’s immune system, and relieve actual, physical pain. I saw a quote once on www. simplemarriage.net that I remembered after I watched the video. It paraphrased Henry Ward Beecher, “A marriage without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs – jolted by every pebble in the road.” It also said, “Individuals who have a strong sense of humor are less likely to experience burnout and depression and they are more likely to enjoy life in general – including their marriage.”

The next time you play a funny yet harmless trick (like the woman I mentioned above) or laugh out loud and take a picture or video, tag us please.  You can find us on Facebook or Instagram. We are NaPuaMagazines. If you’re  willing to share something funny or  share a picture of your self cracking up, send  it  to us a t Napuamagazines96792 @gmail.com. If you’re the woman who posted that video, we’d love to talk story with you! Give us a call at 808-888-
9434. We need more people like you!

Relationship Tip #2

Cry baby Cry!

Do you cry? You should. If you have ever cried, and did not get sympathy, it is likely you heard one of these responses: “There goes the waterworks;” “cry me a river;” “no use crying over spilt milk;” or, “for crying out loud.” Whether we cry because we are feeling sad, because we feel like a failure, because we are touched, because it is hormone-induced, or because we cannot deal with something, crying is an emotional response to stress. Often crying is perceived as a weakness, when in fact it is a healthy response to overwhelming situations. No one wants to be a cry baby, but we should allow ourselves to cry when we need to, and if someone is crying, chances are they need our help. Crying is how the body deals with a stressful situation.

ACTH is a hormone found in tears. When stress builds up in the body, and we are unable to physically combat that stressful event, ACTH builds up. When we cry, our bodies get rid of ACTH, which is the reason for feeling relieved after a good cry. Crying has other benefits too.  When our cries our genuine, we elicit compassion from others. They immediately become more aware of our emotional state. It is a travesty that often we feel like we cannot or should not cry.  Men typically feel they are weak because they cry.  If our first response to a stressful situation was to cry, we would be a much healthier community. To cry would not show weakness but just the opposite. When we allow ourselves to cry we show strength. When we cry we allow ourselves to be vulnerable: we allow ourselves to show our stress. Then we show others our need for help, and when we ask for help, we receive help, and we make less our stress.  The next time you feel like crying, do it.  Cry like a baby. Like William Shakespeare said, “To cry [weep] is to make less the depth of grief.”